dayName = new Array ("Sunday", "Monday", "Tuesday", "Wednesday", "Thursday", "Friday", "Saturday")
monName = new Array ("January", "February", "March", "April", "May", "June", "July", "August", "September", "October", "November", "December")
now = new Date

Jan = new Array
Jan[1] = "HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!"
Jan[2] = "If a picture wasn't going very well I'd put a puppy dog in it, always a mongrel, you know, never one of the full bred puppies. And then I'd put a bandage on its foot... I liked it when I did it, but now I'm sick of it./Norman Rockwell "
Jan[3] = "No matter how much the cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens./Abraham Lincoln"
Jan[4] = "Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one./Malcolm S. Forbes"
Jan[5] = "Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up./DEEP THOUGHTS by Jack Handy "
Jan[6] = "The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven, not man's./Mark Twain "
Jan[7] = "There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full./Henry Kissinger"
Jan[8] = "I spilled spot remover on my dog. He's gone now./Steven Wright "
Jan[9] = "Nature and Books belong to the eyes that see them./Emerson"
Jan[10] = "I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas./DEEP THOUGHTS by Jack Handy "
Jan[11] = "I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles./Steven Wright  "
Jan[12] = "Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end./Max Eastman "
Jan[13] = "I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive./Gilda Radner "
Jan[14] = "Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement./Snoopy "
Jan[15] = "To be upset over what you don't have is to waste what you do have./Unknown"
Jan[16] = "Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it./P. J. O'Rourke"
Jan[17] = "Dogs have given us their absolute all. We are the center of ther universe. We are the focus of their love and faith and trust. They serve us in return for scraps. It is without a doubt the best deal man has ever made./Roger Caras "
Jan[18] = "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits/Anonymous"
Jan[19] = "When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem./Edward Abbey "
Jan[20] = "Start every day off with a smile and get it over with./W. C. Fields"
Jan[21] = "No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does./Christopher Morley "
Jan[22] = "If you don't find it in the index, look very carefully through the entire catalogue./Sears, Roebuck & Co."
Jan[23] = "I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons./Will Rogers "
Jan[24] = "There are times when even the best manager is like the little boy with the big dog,waiting to see where the dog wants to go so he can take him there./Lee Iacocca, US auto business executive "
Jan[25] = "If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around./cowboy wisdom "
Jan[26] = "My dog is usually pleased with what I do, because she is not infected with the concept of what I should be doing./Lonzo Idolswine "
Jan[27] = "I used to look at [my dog] Smokey and think, 'If you were a little smarter you could tell me what you were thinking,' and he'd look at me like he was saying, 'If you were a little smarter, I wouldn't have to.'/Fred Jungclaus "
Jan[28] = "You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us./Robert Louis Stevenson "
Jan[29] = "If you eliminate smoking and gambling, you will be amazed to find that almost all an Englishman's pleasures can be, and mostly are, shared by his dog./George Bernard Shaw "
Jan[30] = "Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun!/Groucho Marx "
Jan[31] = "...it takes a strong minded human to appreciate a strong-minded dog!/Mary Webber "

Feb = new Array
Feb[1] = "I'd rather have an inch of a dog than miles of pedigree./Dana Burnet "
Feb[2] = "My little dog, a heartbeat at my feet./Edith Wharton "
Feb[3] = "If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer./Alfred North Whitehead "
Feb[4] = "Never stand between a dog and the hydrant./John Peers "
Feb[5] = "A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step./Lao-Tsu"
Feb[6] = "I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog./Wendy Liebman "
Feb[7] = "Know yourself. Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful./Ann Landers "
Feb[8] = "You do not own a dog, the dog owns you./Unknown "
Feb[9] = "Rambunctious, rumbustious, delinquent dogs become angelic when sitting./Dr. Ian Dunbar "
Feb[10] = "There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face./Ben Williams "
Feb[11] = "Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses./Elizabeth Taylor "
Feb[12] = "All that we are is the result of what we have thought./Buddha"
Feb[13] = "I know that dogs are pack animals, but it is difficult to imagine a pack of standard poodles...and if there was such a thing as a pack of standard poodles, where would they rove to? Bloomingdale's?/Yvonne Clifford, American actress"
Feb[14] = "Your dog's favorite toys should be rewards for doing what you've asked, rather than something that's always available./Paul Owens, THE DOG WHISPERER"
Feb[15] = "All jobs are easy to the person who doesn't have to do them./Holt's Law"
Feb[16] = "Tis better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than open one's mouth and remove all doubt./Samuel Johnson"
Feb[17] = "I am I because my little dog knows me./Gertrude Stein "
Feb[18] = "It is the province of knowledge to speak and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen./Oliver Wendell Holmes"
Feb[19] = "My goal in life is to become as wonderful as my dog thinks I am./Toby & Eileen Green"
Feb[20] = "Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness./Chinese Proverb"
Feb[21] = "The beginning is the most important part of the work./Plato"
Feb[22] = "Customer: Has this dog a good pedigree?<br>Shop Owner: Has he? Say, if that dog could talk, he wouldn't speak to either of us."
Feb[23] = "No law or ordinance is mightier than understanding./Plato, Laws"
Feb[24] = "He's got his dog trained so that it only does it on newspapers. The trouble is it does it when he's reading the blasted things./Honore de Balzac"
Feb[25] = "A man never stands as tall as when he kneels to help a child./Knights of Pythagoras"
Feb[26] = "Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog/unknown"
Feb[27] = "Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless./Mother Theresa"
Feb[28] = "My biggest complaint about so many of my students is that they're very quick to tell the dog when he's wrong, and slow to tell him when he's right./Cheers, Margie"
Feb[29] = ""
Feb[30] = ""
Feb[31] = ""

Mar = new Array
Mar[1] = "My dog is half pit bull, half poodle. Not much of a watchdog, but a vicious gossip!/Craig Shoemaker "
Mar[2] = "All animals except man know that the ultimate of life is to enjoy it./Samuel Butler"
Mar[3] = "No matter how little money and how few possesions you own, having a dog makes you rich./Louis Sabin "
Mar[4] = "A tired puppy is a good puppy. A tired puppy is a good puppy. A tired puppy is a good puppy./By dog trainers worldwide."
Mar[5] = "An intelligent dog is always on a quest for knowledge. Use that to your advantage./Monica Shifflet"
Mar[6] = "Life is too important to be taken seriously./Oscar Wilde"
Mar[7] = "Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear./Dave Barry"
Mar[8] = "Persistence can be defined as the ability to hang in there. Unfortunately, in dealing with hard-to-manage dogs, things often get worse before they get better. A dog who has a long history of calling the shots may resist a new regimen that involves training and being compliant./Sgt. Duane Pickel of the U.S. Police Canine Association"
Mar[9] = "Love is the ability to put your dog's needs above your own./Anonymous"
Mar[10] = "Dogs don't learn right vs. wrong; they learn safe vs. dangerous./Jean Donaldson, CULTURE CLASH"
Mar[11] = "Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out./Art Linkletter"
Mar[12] = "Practice doesn't make perfect, nor is it supposed to. Practice is about increasing your repertoire of ways to recover from your mistakes./Joann Gutin in Discover"
Mar[13] = "I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult./Rita Rudner"
Mar[14] = "It is a given that children need something to pass their time or else they're going to get into trouble, and it's exactly the same with dogs./Jean Donaldson, CULTURE CLASH"
Mar[15] = "Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes./Lewis Grizzard"
Mar[16] = "No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation./Fran Lebowitz"
Mar[17] = "Rewards have to keep their value. If the same great (food) reward is given over and over again, it will lose its value./Paul Owens, THE DOG WHISPERER"
Mar[18] = "Dogs are much more likely than kids to guess wrong about what are appropriate pastimes and ways to behave around humans because they are an even more foreign species than 2 year old kids./Jean Donaldson, CULTURE CLASH"
Mar[19] = "The most wasted of all days is one without laughter./e. e. cummings"
Mar[20] = "What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an agnostic, and an insomniac? <br>Answer: Someone who stays up at night wondering if there is a Dog./Anonymous"
Mar[21] = "Use the talents you possess -- for the woods would be a very silent place if no birds sang except for the best./Unknown"
Mar[22] = "All you need to train a dog is to get control of his favorite things and start doling them out only when he does what you want./Jean Donaldson, CULTURE CLASH"
Mar[23] = "The truth I do not stretch or shove<br>When I state the dog is full of love.<br>I've also proved by actual test<br>A wet dog is the lovingest./Ogden Nash"
Mar[24] = "Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end./Scott Adams"
Mar[25] = "The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time./Abraham Lincoln"
Mar[26] = "In hot weather, be aware of the temperature of the pavement. If it's too hot, your dog's paws could be burned./Paul Owens, THE DOG WHISPERER"
Mar[27] = "Stress is when your gut says &quot;No way&quot;, but your mouth says &quot;Sure, no problem&quot:/Unknown"
Mar[28] = "Take control of the goodies the dog wants-stop handing them out for free. You must also be prepared to withhold the reward if the dog doesn't comply./Jean Donaldson, CULTURE CLASH"
Mar[29] = "Don't allow your dog to hang his head out of the window. This can be dangerous-stones can be thrown from the pavement by passing cars, and insects can get in the eyes./Paul Owens, THE DOG WHISPERER"
Mar[30] = "Of course, you want to praise your dog consistently. However, your dog should earn that praise. If you give your dog praise all the time for doing nothing, he may begin to ignore you./Paul Owens, THE DOG WHISPERER"
Mar[31] = "Some students drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle./Unknown"

Apr = new Array
Apr[1] = "Deja-moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before."
Apr[2] = "Ohnosecond: That miniscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a big mistake."
Apr[3] = "If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is quit diggin'./unknown"
Apr[4] = "Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about little puppies./Gene Hill"
Apr[5] = "The only man who never makes a mistake is the man who never does anything./Theodore Roosevelt"
Apr[6] = "In dog years I'm dead./Unknown"
Apr[7] = "Blessed are we who can laugh at ourselves for we shall never cease to be amused./Unknown"
Apr[8] = "I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl./Penny Ward Moser"
Apr[9] = "Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend, and inside of a dog, it's too dark to read./Groucho Marx"
Apr[10] = "He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever./Chinese proverb"
Apr[11] = "The scientific name for an animal that doesn't either run from or fight its enemies is lunch./Michael Friedman"
Apr[12] = "To know when to be generous and when to be firm -- this is wisdom./Elbert Hubbard"
Apr[13] = "A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down./Robert Benchley"
Apr[14] = "Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives./Sue Murphy"
Apr[15] = "Ever consider what dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul- chicken, pork, half cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!/Anne Tyler"
Apr[16] = "Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant./Unknown"
Apr[17] = "If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons./James Thurber"
Apr[18] = "You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets./Nora Ephron"
Apr[19] = "Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful./Ann Landers"
Apr[20] = "Women and cats will do as they please and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea./Robert A. Heinlein"
Apr[21] = "In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him./Dereke Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan"
Apr[22] = "When angry, count ten before you speak; if very angry, a hundred./Thomas Jefferson"
Apr[23] = "When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem./Edward Abbey"
Apr[24] = "Cat's Motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it./Unknown"
Apr[25] = "The question is not, can they reason? Nor, can they talk? But, can they suffer?/Jeremy Bentham (philosopher and animal rights activist)"
Apr[26] = "Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail./Unknown"
Apr[27] = "No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does./Christopher Morley"
Apr[28] = "Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in./Mark Twain"
Apr[29] = "I care not for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it./Abraham Lincoln"
Apr[30] = "If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went./Unknown"
Apr[31] = ""

May = new Array
May[1] = "If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man./Mark Twain"
May[2] = "I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts./John Steinbeck"
May[3] = "My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpets or ruin our lives./Rita Rudner"
May[4] = "When a dog runs at you, whistle for him./Henry David Thoreau"
May[5] = "A man who has committed a mistake and doesn't correct it, is committing another mistake./Confucius"
May[6] = "Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest./Mark Twain"
May[7] = "Dogs are not our whole life but they make our life whole./Roger Caras"
May[8] = "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by./Douglas Adams"
May[9] = "The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too./Samuel Butler"
May[10] = "If you can't decide between a Shepherd, a Setter or a Poodle, get them all ... adopt a mutt!/ASPCA"
May[11] = "To err is human:To forgive, canine./Anonymous"
May[12] = "Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes./Lewis Grizzard"
May[13] = "Only the mediocre are always at their best./Jean Giraudoux"
May[14] = "DOGGY DICTIONARY<br>LEASH: A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him to go."
May[15] = "DOGGY DICTIONARY<br>DOG BED: Any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room."
May[16] = "DOGGY DICTIONARY<br>DROOL: Is what you do when your persons have food and you don't. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and look sad and let the drool fall to the floor or better yet, on their laps."
May[17] = "DOGGY DICTIONARY<br>SNIFF: A social custom to use when you greet other dogs. Place your nose as close as you can to the other dogs rear end and inhale deeply, repeat several times, or until your person makes you stop."
May[18] = "DOGGY DICTIONARY<br>GARBAGE CAN: A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread."
May[19] = "DOGGY DICTIONARY<br>BICYCLES: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards; the person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away."
May[20] = "DOGGY DICTIONARY<br>DEAFNESS: This is a malady which affects dogs when their person want them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction, or lying down."
May[21] = "DOGGY DICTIONARY<br>THUNDER: This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly, and following at their heels."
May[22] = "DOGGY DICTIONARY<br>WASTEBASKET: This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old candy wrapper. When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the papers all over the house until your person comes home."
May[23] = "DOGGY DICTIONARY<br>SOFAS: Are to dogs like napkins are to people. After eating it is polite to run up and down the front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean."
May[24] = "DOGGY DICTIONARY<br>BATH: This is a process by which the humans drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently."
May[25] = "DOGGY DICTIONARY<br>LEAN: Every good dog's response to the command 'sit !', especially if your person is dressed for an evening out.  Incredibly effective before black-tie events."
May[26] = "DOGGY DICTIONARY<br>BUMP: The best way to get your human's attention when they are drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea."
May[27] = "The other day I saw two dogs walk over to a parking meter. One of them says to the other, How do you like that? Pay toilets!/Dave Starr"
May[28] = "They say the dog is man's best friend. I don't believe that. How many of your friends have you neutered?/Larry Reeb"
May[29] = "I have a great dog. She's half Lab, half pit bull. A good combination. Sure, she might bite off my leg, but she'll bring it back to me./Jimi Celeste"
May[30] = "There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face./Ben Williams"
May[31] = "The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter./Mark Twain"

Jun = new Array
Jun[1] = "They have dog food for constipated dogs. If your dog is constipated, why screw up a good thing? Stay indoors and let 'em bloat!/David Letterman"
Jun[2] = "I bought my grandmother a Seeing Eye dog. But he's a little sadistic. He does impressions of cars screeching to a halt./Larry Amoros"
Jun[3] = "I like driving around with my two dogs, especially on the freeways. I make them wear little hats so I can use the car-pool lanes./Monica Piper"
Jun[4] = "I like driving around with my two dogs, especially on the freeways. I make them wear little hats so I can use the car-pool lanes./Monica Piper"
Jun[5] = "You never realize a dog is a man's best friend until you start betting on horses./Unknown"
Jun[6] = "Dogs are lousy poker players. When the get a good hand they wag their tails./Unknown"
Jun[7] = "A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of./Ogden Nash"
Jun[8] = "Whenever you and your dog are together, one is training the other./dog trainers"
Jun[9] = "I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen./Ernest Hemingway"
Jun[10] = "The great pleasure of a dog is that you make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, he will make a fool of himself too./Samuel Butler"
Jun[11] = "Part of being sane, is being a little bit crazy./Janet Long"
Jun[12] = "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it./Groucho Marx"
Jun[13] = "Children and dogs are as necessary to the welfare of the country as Wall Street and the railroads./Harry S. Truman"
Jun[14] = "If a dog's prayers were answered, bones would rain from the sky./Old Proverb"
Jun[15] = "Where observation is concerned, chance favors only the prepared mind./Louis Pasteur"
Jun[16] = "Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend./Corey Ford, American writer"
Jun[17] = "Acquiring a dog may be the only opportunity a human ever has to choose a relative./Mordecai Siegal, Contemporary Writer"
Jun[18] = "Dogs are our link to paradise. They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring -- it was peace./Milan Kundera"
Jun[19] = "His name is not wild dog anymore, but the first friend, because he will be our friend for always and always and always./Rudyard Kipling"
Jun[20] = "If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater. . . suggest that he wear a tail./Fran Lebowitz"
Jun[21] = "You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, `My God, you're RIGHT! I NEVER would've thought of that!'/Dave Barry"
Jun[22] = "If your dog doesn't like someone you probably shouldn't either./Unknown"
Jun[23] = "Old dogs, like old shoes, are comfortable. They might be a bit out of shape and a little worn around the edges, but they fit well./Bonnie Wilcox 'Old Dogs, Old Friends' "
Jun[24] = "In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn't merely try to train him to be semihuman. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog./Edward Hoagland "
Jun[25] = "I would rather see the portrait of a dog that I know, than all the allegorical paintings they can show me in the world./Samuel Johnson "
Jun[26] = "When you feel dog tired at night, it may be because you've growled all day long./Unknown"
Jun[27] = "I think we are drawn to dogs because they are the uninhibited creatures we might be if we weren't certain we knew better./George Bird Evans, 'Troubles with Bird Dogs'"
Jun[28] = "Even the tiniest Poodle or Chihuahua is still a wolf at heart./Dorothy Hinshaw Patent, Dogs: The Wolf Within "
Jun[29] = "When a dog wags her tail and barks at the same time, how do you know which end to believe?/Anonymous"
Jun[30] = "It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything./Unknown"
Jun[31] = ""

Jul = new Array
Jul[1] = "Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane./Smiley Blanton"
Jul[2] = "What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight; it's the size of the fight in the dog./Dwight D. Eisenhower"
Jul[3] = "Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer./Leo Rosten"
Jul[4] = "There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting./Mark Twain"
Jul[5] = "If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one./Andy Rooney "
Jul[6] = "If a picture wasn't going very well I'd put a puppy dog in it, always a mongrel, you know, never one of the full bred puppies. And then I'd put a bandage on its foot... I liked it when I did it, but now I'm sick of it./Norman Rockwell"
Jul[7] = "Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up./DEEP THOUGHTS by Jack Handy"
Jul[8] = "I spilled spot remover on my dog. He's gone now./Steven Wright "
Jul[9] = "If you eliminate smoking and gambling, you will be amazed to find that almost all an Englishman's pleasures can be, and mostly are, shared by his dog./George Bernard Shaw "
Jul[10] = "My dog is usually pleased with what I do, because she is not infected with the concept of what I should be doing./Lonzo Idolswine "
Jul[11] = "My little dog, a heartbeat at my feet./Edith Wharton "
Jul[12] = "If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything./Mark Twain"
Jul[13] = "If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer./Alfred North Whitehead "
Jul[14] = "Never stand between a dog and the hydrant./John Peers "
Jul[15] = "...it takes a strong minded human to appreciate a strong-minded dog!/Mary Webber"
Jul[16] = "Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end./Max Eastman "
Jul[17] = "I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas./DEEP THOUGHTS by Jack Handy "
Jul[18] = "I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive./Gilda Radner"
Jul[19] = "Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement./Snoopy"
Jul[20] = "And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years./Abraham Lincoln"
Jul[21] = "Dogs have given us their absolute all. We are the center of ther universe. We are the focus of their love and faith and trust. They serve us in return for scraps. It is without a doubt the best deal man has ever made./Roger Caras"
Jul[22] = "No matter how little money and how few possesions you own, having a dog makes you rich./Louis Sabin "
Jul[23] = "If you can imagine it, you can achieve it.<br>If you can dream it, you can become it./William Arthur Ward"
Jul[24] = "My goal in life is to become as wonderful as my dog thinks I am./Toby & Eileen Green"
Jul[25] = "Do what you can with what you have where you are./Theodore Roosevelt"
Jul[26] = "There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face./Ben Williams "
Jul[27] = "Go Confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined./Thoreau"
Jul[28] = "You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus./Mark Twain"
Jul[29] = "A friend is one to whom you can pour out the contents of your heart, chaff and grain alike. Knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping and with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away./Unknown"
Jul[30] = "Happiness is as a butterfly which when pursued is always beyond our grasp, but which if you will sit down quietly may alight upon you./Nathaniel Hawthorne"
Jul[31] = ""

Aug = new Array
Aug[1] = "If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around./cowboy wisdom "
Aug[2] = "May the road rise to meet you. May the wind always be at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face, the rains fall soft upon your fields and, until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of his hand./Irish Blessing"
Aug[3] = "I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog./Wendy Liebman "
Aug[4] = "It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that things are difficult./Seneca"
Aug[5] = "Know yourself. Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful./Ann Landers "
Aug[6] = "Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it./Gordon R. Dickson"
Aug[7] = "Rambunctious, rumbustious, delinquent dogs become angelic when sitting./Dr. Ian Dunbar "
Aug[8] = "Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun!/Groucho Marx "
Aug[9] = "You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us./Robert Louis Stevenson"
Aug[10] = "My dog is half pit bull, half poodle. Not much of a watchdog, but a vicious gossip!/Craig Shoemaker"
Aug[11] = "Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses./Elizabeth Taylor "
Aug[12] = "I know that dogs are pack animals, but it is difficult to imagine a pack of standard poodles...and if there was such a thing as a pack of standard poodles, where would they rove to? Bloomingdale's?/Yvonne Clifford, American actress"
Aug[13] = "Your dog's favorite toys should be rewards for doing what you've asked, rather than something that's always available./Paul Owens, THE DOG WHISPERER"
Aug[14] = "I am I because my little dog knows me./Gertrude Stein"
Aug[15] = "I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles./Steven Wright  "
Aug[16] = "When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem./Edward Abbey"
Aug[17] = "No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does./Christopher Morley "
Aug[18] = "There are times when even the best manager is like the little boy with the big dog, waiting to see where the dog wants to go so he can take him there./Lee Iacocca, US auto business executive "
Aug[19] = "I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons./Will Rogers"
Aug[20] = "I used to look at [my dog] Smokey and think, 'If you were a little smarter you could tell me what you were thinking,' and he'd look at me like he was saying, 'If you were a little smarter, I wouldn't have to.'/Fred Jungclaus "
Aug[21] = "I'd rather have an inch of a dog than miles of pedigree./Dana Burnet "
Aug[22] = "You do not own a dog, the dog owns you./Unknown"
Aug[23] = "Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong./John G. Riefenbaker"
Aug[24] = "We always admire the other person more after we've tried to do his job./William Feather"
Aug[25] = "All animals except man know that the ultimate of life is to enjoy it./Samuel Butler"
Aug[26] = "Start every day off with a smile and get it over with./W. C. Fields"
Aug[27] = "All jobs are easy to the person who doesn't have to do them./Holt's Law"
Aug[28] = "Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend./Corey Ford, American writer"
Aug[29] = "If a dog's prayers were answered, bones would rain from the sky./Old Proverb"
Aug[30] = "If you can't decide between a Shepherd, a Setter or a Poodle, get them all ... adopt a mutt!/ASPCA"
Aug[31] = ""

Sep = new Array
Sep[1] = "My biggest complaint about so many of my students is that they're very quick to tell the dog when he's wrong, and slow to tell him when he's right./Cheers, Margie"
Sep[2] = "A tired puppy is a good puppy. A tired puppy is a good puppy. A tired puppy is a good puppy./By dog trainers worldwide."
Sep[3] = "An intelligent dog is always on a quest for knowledge. Use that to your advantage./Monica Shifflet"
Sep[4] = "Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear./Dave Barry"
Sep[5] = "Persistence can be defined as the ability to hang in there. Unfortunately, in dealing with hard-to-manage dogs, things often get worse before they get better. A dog who has a long history of calling the shots may resist a new regimen that involves training and being compliant./Sgt. Duane Pickel of the U.S. Police Canine Association"
Sep[6] = "I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive./Gilda Radner "
Sep[7] = "Love is the ability to put your dog's needs above your own./Anonymous"
Sep[8] = "The only one who can tell you 'you can't' is you. And you don't have to listen./Nike advertisement"
Sep[9] = "Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out./Art Linkletter"
Sep[10] = "Dogs don't learn right vs. wrong; they learn safe vs. dangerous./Jean Donaldson, CULTURE CLASH"
Sep[11] = "Practice doesn't make perfect, nor is it supposed to. Practice is about increasing your repertoire of ways to recover from your mistakes./Joann Gutin in Discover"
Sep[12] = "I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult./Rita Rudner"
Sep[13] = "It is a given that children need something to pass their time or else they're going to get into trouble, and it's exactly the same with dogs./Jean Donaldson, CULTURE CLASH"
Sep[14] = "No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation./Fran Lebowitz"
Sep[15] = "Rewards have to keep their value. If the same great (food) reward is given over and over again, it will lose its value./Paul Owens, THE DOG WHISPERER"
Sep[16] = "Some students drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle./Unknown"
Sep[17] = "Dogs are much more likely than kids to guess wrong about what are appropriate pastimes and ways to behave around humans because they are an even more foreign species than 2 year old kids./Jean Donaldson, CULTURE CLASH"
Sep[18] = "What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an agnostic, and an insomniac? <br>Answer: Someone who stays up at night wondering if there is a Dog./Anonymous"
Sep[19] = "Use the talents you possess -- for the woods would be a very silent place if no birds sang except for the best./Unknown"
Sep[20] = "All you need to train a dog is to get control of his favorite things and start doling them out only when he does what you want./Jean Donaldson, CULTURE CLASH"
Sep[21] = "The truth I do not stretch or shove<br>When I state the dog is full of love.<br>I've also proved by actual test<br>A wet dog is the lovingest./Ogden Nash"
Sep[22] = "Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end./Scott Adams"
Sep[23] = "In hot weather, be aware of the temperature of the pavement. If it's too hot, your dog's paws could be burned./Paul Owens, THE DOG WHISPERER"
Sep[24] = "Stress is when your gut says &quot;No way&quot;, but your mouth says &quot;Sure, no problem&quot:/Unknown"
Sep[25] = "Take control of the goodies the dog wants-stop handing them out for free. You must also be prepared to withhold the reward if the dog doesn't comply./Jean Donaldson, CULTURE CLASH"
Sep[26] = "Don't allow your dog to hang his head out of the window. This can be dangerous-stones can be thrown from the pavement by passing cars, and insects can get in the eyes./Paul Owens, THE DOG WHISPERER"
Sep[27] = "Deja-moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before."
Sep[28] = "Ohnosecond: That miniscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a big mistake."
Sep[29] = "Of course, you want to praise your dog consistently. However, your dog should earn that praise. If you give your dog praise all the time for doing nothing, he may begin to ignore you./Paul Owens, THE DOG WHISPERER"
Sep[30] = "If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is quit diggin'./unknown"
Sep[31] = ""

Oct = new Array
Oct[1] = "Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about little puppies./Gene Hill"
Oct[2] = "The only man who never makes a mistake is the man who never does anything./Theodore Roosevelt"
Oct[3] = "In dog years I'm dead./Unknown"
Oct[4] = "I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl./Penny Ward Moser"
Oct[5] = "Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend, and inside of a dog, it's too dark to read./Groucho Marx."
Oct[6] = "The scientific name for an animal that doesn't either run from or fight its enemies is lunch./Michael Friedman"
Oct[7] = "To know when to be generous and when to be firm -- this is wisdom./Elbert Hubbard"
Oct[8] = "A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down./Robert Benchley"
Oct[9] = "Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives./Sue Murphy"
Oct[10] = "Ever consider what dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul- chicken, pork, half cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!/Anne Tyler"
Oct[11] = "Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant./Unknown"
Oct[12] = "If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons./James Thurber"
Oct[13] = "You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets./Nora Ephron"
Oct[14] = "Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful./Ann Landers"
Oct[15] = "Instead of loving your enemies, treat your friends a little better./Ed Howe"
Oct[16] = "Women and cats will do as they please and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea./Robert A. Heinlein"
Oct[17] = "Friendship with oneself is all important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world./Eleanor Roosevelt"
Oct[18] = "Weather is a great bluffer. I guess the same is true of our human society -- things can look dark, then a break shows in the clouds, and all is changed./E. B. White"
Oct[19] = "In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him./Dereke Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan"
Oct[20] = "There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face./Ben Williams"
Oct[21] = "When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem./Edward Abbey"
Oct[22] = "Cat's Motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it./Unknown"
Oct[23] = "The question is not, can they reason? Nor, can they talk? But, can they suffer?/Jeremy Bentham (philosopher and animal rights activist)"
Oct[24] = "Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail./Unknown"
Oct[25] = "No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does./Christopher Morley"
Oct[26] = "Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in./Mark Twain"
Oct[27] = "I care not for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it./Abraham Lincoln"
Oct[28] = "If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went./Unknown"
Oct[29] = "If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man./Mark Twain"
Oct[30] = "I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts./John Steinbeck"
Oct[31] = "My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpets or ruin our lives./Rita Rudner"

Nov = new Array
Nov[1] = "When a dog runs at you, whistle for him./Henry David Thoreau"
Nov[2] = "Dogs are not our whole life but they make our life whole./Roger Caras"
Nov[3] = "I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by./Unknown"
Nov[4] = "DOGGY DICTIONARY<br>LEASH: A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him to go."
Nov[5] = "DOGGY DICTIONARY<br>DOG BED: Any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room."
Nov[6] = "DOGGY DICTIONARY<br>DROOL: Is what you do when your persons have food and you don't. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and look sad and let the drool fall to the floor or better yet, on their laps."
Nov[7] = "DOGGY DICTIONARY<br>SNIFF: A social custom to use when you greet other dogs. Place your nose as close as you can to the other dogs rear end and inhale deeply, repeat several times, or until your person makes you stop."
Nov[8] = "DOGGY DICTIONARY<br>GARBAGE CAN: A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread."
Nov[9] = "DOGGY DICTIONARY<br>BICYCLES: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards; the person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away."
Nov[10] = "DOGGY DICTIONARY<br>DEAFNESS: This is a malady which affects dogs when their person want them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction, or lying down."
Nov[11] = "DOGGY DICTIONARY<br>THUNDER: This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly, and following at their heels."
Nov[12] = "DOGGY DICTIONARY<br>WASTEBASKET: This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old candy wrapper. When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the papers all over the house until your person comes home."
Nov[13] = "DOGGY DICTIONARY<br>SOFAS: Are to dogs like napkins are to people. After eating it is polite to run up and down the front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean."
Nov[14] = "DOGGY DICTIONARY<br>BATH: This is a process by which the humans drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently."
Nov[15] = "DOGGY DICTIONARY<br>LEAN: Every good dog's response to the command 'sit !', especially if your person is dressed for an evening out.  Incredibly effective before black-tie events."
Nov[16] = "DOGGY DICTIONARY<br>BUMP: The best way to get your human's attention when they are drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea."
Nov[17] = "The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too./Samuel Butler"
Nov[18] = "If you can't decide between a Shepherd, a Setter or a Poodle, get them all ... adopt a mutt!/ASPCA"
Nov[19] = "To err is human:To forgive, canine./Anonymous"
Nov[20] = "Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes./Lewis Grizzard"
Nov[21] = "The other day I saw two dogs walk over to a parking meter. One of them says to the other, How do you like that? Pay toilets!/Dave Starr"
Nov[22] = "They say the dog is man's best friend. I don't believe that. How many of your friends have you neutered?/Larry Reeb"
Nov[23] = "I have a great dog. She's half Lab, half pit bull. A good combination. Sure, she might bite off my leg, but she'll bring it back to me./Jimi Celeste"
Nov[24] = "They have dog food for constipated dogs. If your dog is constipated, why screw up a good thing? Stay indoors and let 'em bloat!/David Letterman"
Nov[25] = "I bought my grandmother a Seeing Eye dog. But he's a little sadistic. He does impressions of cars screeching to a halt./Larry Amoros"
Nov[26] = "I like driving around with my two dogs, especially on the freeways. I make them wear little hats so I can use the car-pool lanes./Monica Piper"
Nov[27] = "You never realize a dog is a man's best friend until you start betting on horses./Unknown"
Nov[28] = "Dogs are lousy poker players. When the get a good hand they wag their tails./Unknown"
Nov[29] = "A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of./Ogden Nash"
Nov[30] = "Whenever you and your dog are together, one is training the other./dog trainers"
Nov[31] = ""

Dec = new Array
Dec[1] = "I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen./Ernest Hemingway"
Dec[2] = "The great pleasure of a dog is that you make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, he will make a fool of himself too./Samuel Butler"
Dec[3] = "Children and dogs are as necessary to the welfare of the country as Wall Street and the railroads./Harry S. Truman"
Dec[4] = "If a dog's prayers were answered, bones would rain from the sky./Old Proverb"
Dec[5] = "Where observation is concerned, chance favors only the prepared mind./Louis Pasteur"
Dec[6] = "Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend./Corey Ford, American writer"
Dec[7] = "Acquiring a dog may be the only opportunity a human ever has to choose a relative./Mordecai Siegal, Contemporary Writer"
Dec[8] = "Dogs are our link to paradise. They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring -- it was peace./Milan Kundera"
Dec[9] = "His name is not wild dog anymore, but the first friend, because he will be our friend for always and always and always./Rudyard Kipling"
Dec[10] = "There is real magic in enthusiasm. It spells the difference between mediocrity and accomplishment./Norman Vincent Peale"
Dec[11] = "If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater. . . suggest that he wear a tail./Fran Lebowitz "
Dec[12] = "You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, `My God, you're RIGHT! I NEVER would've thought of that!'/Dave Barry "
Dec[13] = "Be not afraid of going slowly; be only afraid of standing still./Chinese Proverb"
Dec[14] = "The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary./Vidal Sassoon"
Dec[15] = "If your dog doesn't like someone you probably shouldn't either./Unknown "
Dec[16] = "Old dogs, like old shoes, are comfortable. They might be a bit out of shape and a little worn around the edges, but they fit well./Bonnie Wilcox 'Old Dogs, Old Friends' "
Dec[17] = "In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn't merely try to train him to be semihuman. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog./Edward Hoagland "
Dec[18] = "I would rather see the portrait of a dog that I know, than all the allegorical paintings they can show me in the world./Samuel Johnson "
Dec[19] = "There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way./Christopher Morley"
Dec[20] = "Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced./Soren Kierkegaard"
Dec[21] = "When you feel dog tired at night, it may be because you've growled all day long./Unknown "
Dec[22] = "I think we are drawn to dogs because they are the uninhibited creatures we might be if we weren't certain we knew better./George Bird Evans, 'Troubles with Bird Dogs'"
Dec[23] = "Even the tiniest Poodle or Chihuahua is still a wolf at heart./Dorothy Hinshaw Patent, Dogs: The Wolf Within "
Dec[24] = "If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one./Andy Rooney "
Dec[25] = "Merry Christmas!!!"
Dec[26] = "When a dog wags her tail and barks at the same time, how do you know which end to believe?/Anonymous "
Dec[27] = "Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane./Smiley Blanton "
Dec[28] = "What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight; it's the size of the fight in the dog./Dwight D. Eisenhower "
Dec[29] = "Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer./Leo Rosten "
Dec[30] = "A friend is someone who sees through you and still enjoys the view./Wilma Askinas"
Dec[31] = "Have a happy and safe New Year's Eve."

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